“The Sales Moment; Issue #221″
First of all, helping people is a great thing and we should make it a part of our plan, but we can’t say yes to everything. It becomes a problem when it derails your focus on the things you have decided is important. Before you know it, your calendar is full and you are wondering why you are out of time.
Being a people-pleaser comes from not wanting to let other people down. An unhealthy drive to be accepted and approved by others. Most of us want to be liked and are afraid saying no will make the other person think less of us. It is sometimes easier to just say yes because no seems harsh and rude.
However, people-pleasers pay a price.
I have learned the hard way that over committing myself can put a strain on my relationships. Taking quality time from my wife because I did not have the gumption to say no usually ends in me regretting my decision.
Also, if you have a hard time saying no, people will take advantage of you. Organizations always need help and they will ask. They can be relentless and you have to learn to respond appropriately.
I have heard it said that, “I can do anything I want, I just can’t do everything I want.”
Michael Hyatt suggests a positive no in his blog, How To Say No When You Feel Pressured To Say Yes.
A positive No has three parts:
- Yes: It begins by saying Yes to yourself and protecting what is important to you. I would also add the importance of affirming the other person.
- No: It continues with a matter-of-fact No that sets clear boundaries. I also avoid leaving the door open by saying “maybe,” as in “maybe I can say yes to your request in the future.”
- Yes: A positive No ends with a Yes that affirms the relationship and offers another solution to the person’s request.
*Excerpt from The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes by William Wry
Many people I speak with are spread too thin and live busy lives with little margin. It is frustrating, can strain close relationships and keep you from getting to the important things you want to accomplish.
I have learned to prioritize what is important and respond appropriately to protect my time. You can too!
Have a great week!