“Are You Interesting?

“The Sales Moment; Issue #89″

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Most people want to be interesting. They want to be thought of as sociable, humorous and a good conversationalist.

Unfortunately, this causes people to talk too much, try to be cool or clever and witty. According to Mark Goulston in his book, Just Listen, they have it backward. If you want to be more interesting, you should be more interested!

Becoming genuinely interested in other people is on Dale Carnegie’s list of six ways to make people like you. This is the simplest way to break the ice with someone you have just met.

The following are some tips to help you master this skill:

  1. Avoid insincerity and manipulation. You cannot pretend. You have to be genuine. People will see through your tactics if you are not sincere.
  2. Avoid personal issues until you have built trust and rapport. Talk about topics of general interest.
  3. Call them by their name.
  4. Smile and be positive. It will draw people to you. Most of what people hear is negative.
  5. Join in the conversation. If you ONLY ask questions, it will seem like an interrogation. I use the 70/30 rule. I let them talk 70% of the time.
  6. Listen intently.

Most people you meet are generally focused on his or herself with their own problems and objectives. When you are able to put your own needs aside and focus on the needs of others, you set yourself apart from the crowd.

Do you want to be interesting? Do you want to be liked? Be interested and do it genuinely. It will make them feel like the most important person in the world.

Have a great week!

Pierce

  • Martha
    Hi Pierce, Thanks for give us this tips today!
  • piercemarrs
    You are so welcome Martha. Thank you for reading.

    Pierce
  • Terry Chandler
    Thanks for reminding us of what Dale Carnegie wrote Pierce! 

    I'm wondering how you handle it when people start speaking before you've finished your sentence, even though you give them 70% of the speaking space? 

    Do you call their attention to what they do?
  • piercemarrs
    Terry,

    Thank you for your comment. As far how to handle someone who does not listen and speaks over you, it comes down to what you expect from the relationship. If it is someone you want to do business with, then you may have to be patient and listen. Calling them out on their bad communication skills can only damage the relationship.

    On the other hand, if this is a spouse, child or friend, you should pick a good opportunity to discuss this in a productive way so the relationship can grow without resentment.

    Thank you for your question!

    Pierce
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